After seven years, one sorority house and three apartments, Jaclyn and I are still roommates. (Which may or may not qualify us for common law marriage in 10 states plus the District of Columbia.) And now it’s time for us to either resign our lease or find a new apartment.
Problem is, we’re both incredibly indecisive. We have no idea what to do. So while I’m dodging calls from my landlord like a weasel, we’re both trying to make a list of pros and cons about our current situation. Lists I can do. Coming to any sort of concrete decision after making said list, well that’s another story. So. Want to help us decide if we should stay or if we should go?
Pro: Proximity to the el.
It takes less than one song on the iPod to make it to the Wellington station. That’s close enough to hear the rumble of the train when the windows are open (ambient “city sounds” as I call them), but distance enough to not bring your life to a screeching halt every 5-7 minutes during peak times.
Pro: Proximity to a decent beer garden.
This was not why we picked the apartment, but it was an added bonus. It’s not even like we go there very often.* But I enjoy being able to call in an order of hot pretzels for pick-up by and enjoying them at home in about 7 minutes.
Pro: Laundry in unit.
It’s great to throw a load in the washing machine and go about your day without worrying that some stranger is manhandling your whites.
Con: Room size.
The living area’s decent and the kitchen isn’t bad, but the bedrooms leave a little to be desired. Mine's like a hallway lined with furniture and a bed at the end. But our bedrooms have sliding doors with frosted glass on them, so it kind of feels like you’re in a space ship. And I guess that’s kind of a pro.
Con: Our handyman.
I’m sure he’s a stand up guy and he can be surprisingly handy at some things (I once saw him disassemble, repair and put our washing machine back together in under an hour) but he’s incredibly inept at others (just snake the damn drain in the tub already). Also, his cell phone doesn’t really work and he’s a bit hard of hearing, so anytime you call him with a maintenance request, it’s like getting in a one-sided screaming match that no one will win.
Pro: Double sinks in the bathroom.
I’m sorry, but that’s just nice.
Con: Garden unit.
While I appreciate not having to truck up and down multiple flights of stairs, the garden unit is really just a nice way to say “basement.” As soon as the leaves start to fall, they all work their way into our living room. Drives me absolutely crazy. And the metal bars on the windows aren’t exactly homey, but you don’t notice them so much after a while. Oh, but when the blinds are open, anyone walking down the street can see straight into our living room. And you know what? Sometimes you just want to park it on the couch and watch all three Back to the Futures because they're on ABC Family and not be judged by passers-by.
Pro: Fireplace.
We haven’t used in about 18 months, but it was a classy little feature those four times we turned it on.
Pro: This place decorates well for Christmas.
The spot in front of the window is perfect for our tree. Granted, that spot is empty the other 11 months of the year, but it’s nice in December.
Con: Moving sucks.
The packing sucks. The cleaning sucks. The physical act of moving all your earthly possessions seven blocks away sucks. So why not put it off another 12 months?
Pro and/or con: Looking at other apartments.
For the first few places, it’s exciting. You get all giddy and imagine all the ways you’ll arrange your furniture and decorate your room. You make a mental list of people to invite to the housewarming party and you can’t wait to sign the lease. But then the harsh reality of no AC or outrageous rent or previous tenants who were boys sets in. And then the apartment hunting process becomes a tedious game of “will I be homeless in a month?”
Con: Other people looking at your apartment.
It’s inevitable that I’ll be sitting around in a homecoming t-shirt from sophomore year of high school watching some shameful television program elbow-deep in a box of Cheez-Its when our landlord saunters in with potential new tenants.
Con: The big post-move grocery trip.
You know when you’ve been packing for what feels like eons and you finally make your way to the kitchen and you get all crazy-eyed and just start throwing things away? And because you haven’t been grocery shopping in three weeks in preparation of the move and you’ve been eating nothing but borderline expired Rice-A-Roni, you just pitch everything that’s left in the fridge? You know how that always seems like such a great idea until you get to the new apartment and start unpacking and think, “damn it, I’m hungry,” but you have absolutely nothing to eat? You know when that happens? Yeah, I hate that.
Also, I hate grocery shopping in general, so having to buy everything down to the condiments that go on the refrigerator door is complete torture.
Con: Living in one place for too long.
With the exception of the house I grew up in, I haven’t lived anywhere for longer than two years. It’s just been our limit up until now. Two years in the college apartment because we graduated. Two years on Addison because that’s about as long as anyone can live that close to Wrigley without going batshit crazy. Two years in this place. Anything longer than two years just feels so permanent. I’m not sure I’m ready for a commitment like that.
Pro: Neighbors.
After living above a couple of relentlessly barking dogs and then below a family with a toddler, we kind of lucked out when three twenty-somethings moved into the apartment above us last year. They’re fun guys and they’re good neighbors. They came to our Halloween get together, we dropped by their New Years party. They shoveled us out of our apartment enough times last winter to earn a couple cases of beer (which I’m going to do, I swear) and one of them even helped me pick our lock when I locked myself out. And even when they run through their living room and it sounds like our light fixture is about to come crashing down, they’re still good neighbors.
Con: Neighbors.
The three flat next door is home to no less than 53 hipster kids. How, I have no idea, it’s like a commune or something. But they aren’t really a problem.
It’s the neighbors in the coach house behind the three flat. They’re just a bunch of ass hats. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to describe them. This must be their first apartment post-college, and we’ve all been there, but at least we were there with a little dignity. They’re never not a sloppy, screaming mess. The walkway between our apartments is one orange construction fence away from being a frat party aftermath. They leave garbage in our front yard. They listen to crappy music loudly. And they seem incapable of going out without banging on our windows upon their return.
So what to do, what to do. I’m seriously not equipped to make a decision like this.
*Ask Brett about his last visit to Kirkwood. It’s a good story.
